Deconstructing negative space identities

On low self-esteem

Hiya,

People were very nice to me about my essay on grief following my late ADHD diagnosis! Thank you! I wanted to expand on some thoughts I’ve had since writing that piece, mainly on identity construction and what informs it.

P.S. I don’t know if Bustle UK exists anymore, so please mind the typo calling ADHD a mental health condition in the first line of the above essay; it’s a neurodevelopmental condition which is a drastically different thing.

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"What do you think you're in here for?" my therapist asked during one session. This was a few years ago, one of the many times she'd tried to cut me off. "Depression, anxiety, OCD, paranoia", I listed, thinking this was just the tip of the iceberg. These labels, they were drawn to me, attaching themselves like fridge magnets. I knew I was walking parody, the type unfunny British comedians would love to punch down.

"Well, you know I can't diagnose you with any conditions here, but I actually think you're in here for low self-esteem," she replied. I was stunned. Low self-esteem? That's what 7-year-olds might have for a week when they get bullied on the playground, I thought. It seemed a pathetic reason to be in therapy for. I felt small and ashamed. Low self-esteem?! I walked home in a huff.